A chap walks into a vege shop, and asks the young shop assistant for half a lettuce.
The assistant says "I'm not sure if we can sell you half a lettuce - you may have to buy a whole one. But I'll just go and check with the manager".
So the assistant goes over to the manager and says "Some moron wants to buy half a lettuce..." and then, suddenly realising that the customer is standing right behind him, he continues "... and this lovely gentleman here has kindly offered to buy the other half".
The satisfied customer leaves with his half lettuce, and the manager turns to his assistant and says "That was quick thinking, boy - whereabouts are you from?"
"New Zealand" the assistant replies.
"Why did you leave New Zealand?" the manager enquires.
"Because the only people there are loose women and rugby players" says the assistant.
"Really?" says the manager, "My wife is a New Zealander".
"Oh..." says the assistant, "... what team did she play for?"
